With the changes to university enrolments that took place in 2011/2012 Osteopathy and most health courses were forced to take a lot more graduates in.
Which is fine and great but means that there are a lot more osteopaths circulating Melbourne and particularly the cafe riddled streets of the inner north than there used to be.
At a staff meeting a few weeks ago (coinciding with Clegane Bowl in the penultimate Game of Thrones Episode) our osteopaths got to talking.
If it came to blows how would our team fare against some of their competitors in the local area.
To better explain this we have broken the subject into a few component parts that are useful for any battle.
First off the team:
Captain of the team and mentor to the other Osteopaths.
Special skills
a fierce tenacity for helping people and protector of the osteopathic realm
ridiculous loveliness at all times
exceptional hands on skills
many years of experience
unparalleled knowledge of the inner human being and the inner north
urbane inner-city connoisseur of nice things
can chat coffee beans, beer brewing, bonsai making, woodworking or whisky tasting with aplomb
rabid nerd level 10, more weekend courses than anyone other osteopath in the inner north
experience in horticulture prior to osteopathy leads to brilliant cultivation of patient adherence to exercise prescription
brings an academic rigour to the team due to her years working in university
wonderful culinary knowledge, both in terms of cooking and in local restaurant knowledge
as a recovering headache sufferer, Amelia is an excellent manager of headaches
Amelia has done innumerable courses to bring fantastic skills to bear in the clinic
A Quick Pointer
It should be explained that Osteopathic battles are an odd affair for the untrained observer. Osteopaths line up on either side of a field and then work to disable their opponents.
There are no strict rules but the winner is declared as the team to show the most osteopathic and life skills. This is dictated by the capitulation of the other team.
How would the TNC team go about attacking a rival band of Osteopaths?
Without knowing who they would be opposing it is challenging to sketch out the battle lines however we would imagine a process somewhat similar to as follows:
Anthony being the natural leader and protector he is would charge out to take on the enemy single handedly.
Nick and Amelia being the keen team players and dear friends of Anthony would quickly catch him and accost him for leaving them behind.
Nick would then quickly craft a hand made table, place upon it some very strong home made beer.
Amelia would whip out some country made loveliness and home-made scones and place them upon Nick’s table.
The enemy expecting a hard fought battle would be lulled by this display and take a seat to eat. At which time the team would set to work.
Anthony working through their minds by educating them as to the nature of pain.
Nick on their feet and hips to alleviate any tension.
Amelia through the jaw and neck as well as via education to take their headaches away.
At this point their opponents, full and comfy, relaxed and educated would concede defeat.
Conclusions
Whilst a bit silly, this meandering tale does serve a purpose.
When searching for an osteopath in Melbourne one should look for someone with experience both in Osteopathy but also in life.
Everyone of our team is exactly that.
All with years clinical experience, a ubiquitous passion for their work and the world around them all of our Osteopaths are authentic.
Osteopathy is a burgeoning profession. Once upon a time the two Victorian Universities (VU and RMIT) would only graduate 20-30 per year.
